power writing

She sits alone. In her dark room. The only trace of light coming from a small hole in her blinds. Its raining. Thick, loud drops of rain. They harmonize with the rythm of her sobbs. She can feel the warm sticky tears streak her face. They fall, mixing with the warm sticky blood falling from her arms. Blood and tears. Somehow theyve alwayz made such a lovly combination. For just a brief moment she looks up. Her eyes catching the small beam of light coming in from the outside world. It seems to focus on one object and one object only. His picture. Slightly hidden behind the picture of her two best friends its not particualrly noticable. But it catches her glance. His smiling face, her painsaken eyes. Both captured on the same piece of paper. Its amazing how much a picture can tell. She lifts herself from the ground. Makes her way over to the table. Taking the picture in hand, she spys her arms. They never seemed that bad before. The scars were just her little reminders of life. They let her know she was still here. But now. They stood out. Bold and purple. Screaming for justice. He never liked when she hurt herself. He was always encouraging her to find a better way. Too bad he couldnt have taken his own advice. The night he took his life, wondering if she went through his mind before he did it. Or was she just gone. Did she not matter any more. Theres no way to know now. Hes left her, and shes alone here now, to rot in his shadows.

vote 4 me

ahh been forever seince ive posted, its crazy. i guess thats just cuz theres not much to post about, except im running for student body pres, so thats cool, y'all better vote 4 me. :-D im out, bye

omgsh.

omgsh, so my blog was being retarted for the longest time, but its working again so im happy cuz i was scared it was like gonna die. i guess the only new thing in my life is my two best friends are mad at me, so that kinda hurts. and we dont have school today or yeasterday, which means 4 day weekend!!! yay, thats fun, except all ive done is sit at home, so ya not so much fun. well thats is really, ttfn

finally posting again

finally posting again. but nothing really happened today, so thats no fun. if any of you have ideas on what i should put on my blog tell me, cuz im runnin out of ideas, thanks

so heres the deal, we have to do this really stupid project for LA about a carrer, only i dont know what my carrer should be, so tag me with some ideas, i rele need help on this one

ps sorry for not posting often

hate

"before you say you hate someone, think.......... if they commited suicide would you care?"

omg, is this a good point or what. i just want y'all to think about it. What if someone you "hated" or even completly despised killed themselves? Would you care? Or would you be glad? I know that i would care an emense amount. Even if it was a person I hardly talked to. Just think. If the answer is no, i wouldnt care, then you can say that you hate them, but be prepared to live with the guilt if they did kill themselves

OMG OMG OMG. WE HAVE A SNOW DAY!!!!!!! I AM SO EXCITED. AHHHH WE HAVENT HAD A SNOW DAY SEINCE 5TH GADE, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

tis snowing

its snowing. alot. alot alot. I really hope we get a snow day tomorow. That would be really really cool. but ya, we prolly wont cuz people are weird and dumb. well ya thats all

so ya, i was supposed to get my belly button piercecd tonite but the people at the place didnt belive i was sixteen, so ya thats pretty much the story, im tired i dont wanna type no more, bye

shoe box on my head

so ya, its friday night and i am at my computer, sitting at my compuuter, on lindsays lap, with a shoebox on my head. its pretty cool lemme tell ya. well i dont really know waht to say, today was jsut a lil uneventful. i went to the movies with merissa and joanna and lindsay,that was pretty cool. but ya thats about the extent of my day so ill ttyl, bye

omgsh, i am so happy CSAP is finally over. ugh i swear to you that is the dumbest test EVER. lolz. well ya i dunno i dont really have much to say but i thought id post again. OMGSH im soo happy though because a) i might get my belly button pierced if i can talk my mom into it, and b) i might get my mom to make our spare bedroom into a dance studio, YES!!! no more dancing in the kitchen. well thats all for now, much love ~ariel~

p.s. do y'all like my new template? tag me on it :-D

long time no post, again

sorry i havent posted in a while, i really know i should, ive just been doin alot latly. im not sure if i like my template, but im gonna leve it for now. So ya... i dont rele know whats new in my life except for a few immature girls who are deciding once again that they want to attack me for no reason, but thats alright because ive got more inportant things to worry about in this stage of my life. things have been hard, things have been REALLY hard, but im trying my best to keep a positive attitude and not give up. im takin life day by day, im trying not to worry about tomorow, or wahts gonna happen next wednesday. as long as i can get through today then that means one more day that i can look in the mirror and say "you did it ariel, you made it through another day" i also want to say that im so appreciative of the friends that have been there, who havent pushed me to talk about things, or told me that i was a bad friend because i didnt want to tell them everything that was bothering me, but the ones that have just been there to lend me a sholder to cry on. you guys are so special and i will always love you, thank you

bla

so its like rele late and im totally bored. im writing this essay for a &100 savings bond for college, which really isnt that much, but with the schooling im looking for, im gonna need every penny i get. i used to really want to be a dancer, that was my main goal in life, but it seems as i got a lil older, and life started to become more complicated my dreams shifted. now i see myself as either a writer or a phsycologist, i want to be able to help people, and have the world see things from my point of view. i want to be that person that someone can come to when they need to talk, u kno/.?

the bowling lockin, whoo hoo

ya so last night, well actually this morining, me, moe, joanna, and katlyn went to a bowling lockin. it was ok at first, and then we started talking to these weird sophmores that go to bc, and i was annoyed so i started hangin out with chris, and then me and chris started goin out, what the irony. lolz, and now im tired and really hungry, so thats the end of this post

im sleepie

yes, im really tired, which is funny because i slept all day. the only reason i slept tho is because tonight im goin to a bowling lockin type thingie and i really dont wanna fall asleep. it should be pretty fun, ill post bout that lata.

other than sleeping, i also went shopping! yay, isnt that cool! i had like nothing to wear tonight, so i got a really cute green tshit, a pink one too, some jeans, and this ADORABLE black silk tank top. haha wow i sound so stupid, i cant belive im obsessing about my cloths

well tahts all for now, ill try and post again lata, much love

CANCUN!!!!!!!!!!!

yes! so last night i went to cancun........... kinda. me, moe, cornflakes, brittany, joanna, and brezzi made an immtation cancun in my backyard, it was crazy cool. and so ya, we went it the hot tub and it was really cold and then we went to IHOP at 11:30 and "borrowed" a menu from IHOP. it was really really fun.

and ya, i would wright all the lovly-ness that happened but im like totally hangin out with loops (cornflakes) so i talk to yall lata, much love ariel


*if you really want the elaborated version of our night, go to loops blog (www.cornflakescomefrosted.blogspot.com)

your life sucks?

so, i dont like going off on someone because they are in a sad kinda mood, but this particular thing bugged me. a certain person states, "Everyone on the face of the earth hates me. I should be murdered. I deserve it. Might not ever write again, because i might not live that omg thanks for listening" and another says "u know ur life is crashing and you know a rock would be a better friend ur in trouble. So I think I've decided to find a rock and call it my friend." this happens to bother me just for the fact that i know these two girls, and know that they can be very over dramatic and sometimes a little bit hipocritical, but i also am pretty sure that neither of these girls have ever expereinced pain. all i have to say, is your lifes not horrible just because a few friends are mad, there are harder things out there, i kno that there are people out there that have it much harder than me too, and i think that before you go saying that you should be murdered or that your only friend is a rock, you should take a walk in someone elses shoes

nobody

shes popular, shes hot, shes one of the coolest girls in school. everyone loves her and wants to be her friend, who wouldnt? shes just so awsome. shes got the cutest cloths and is always so funny. shes everything and more. and im down here, just a simple little phsycic. if even that. just a tiny little speck at the bottom of the social latter. when am i ever gonna get my turn to come out of the dark and into the spot light, when will someone actually notice who i am?

some people i sware to you

so ya, theres been a certain person or two that has decided that suddenly they hate me and moe and all of us and are bitching us out on another one of my friends blogs, so i have a few words for them.

im sorry that you have such a problem with me and my friends, but you have no right to go off on me and tell me i should die, thats just not right. im not going around and telling you to kill yourself am i? im sorry but theres alot of things in my life you do not understand, and probably never will, and therefore you have no right to intrude. i have never done anything to you, sure i might not like you either, but i have never been that mean to you. i personally dont need your drama, and dont want to deal with any of your little issues either, i tried to be the mature one in this, but ur makin it really hard. just do yourself a favor and please leave me and my friends alone. thats all i ask, i understand u not likeing me, but do u have to be so rude. i mean, how much of a person does that make you? doesnt seem like the storngest move to me. you have the right to do what you want but please leave me out of it. thank you

im lazy

so i do indeed need to post more, but im too lazy to do so, o well. today was full of uneventfullness, i sat at home while wathing many an episode of gilmore girls (i love that show, lolz) i had french toast for breakfast, lunch and dinner, with a side of steamed broccoli, yummie! i have been sick for the past week or two and it sucks ice cubes majorly!

ive also decided that i am officially sick of being single, yep, not even a week seince brian and i broke up and im already sick of it, gah im pathetic. really though, i want a bf real bad, but i dont think that n e one i kno likes me :( sadness. o well i guess taht jus means ill have to go boy scouting at the mall and find a hot guy, lolz not really, but it does sound like a good idea dont it. ya well i guess thats it for now, much love

sick, bleck!

well lets see, long time no post. brain and i broke up, not quite sure how i feel about that yet, and i am sick as hell. renae had to come to school sick, and so now me, merissa, joanna, and katlyn are sick. i havent been to school in the last 3 days, it sux. i really hope that i get better over the weekend tho, cuz i am so bored with just sitting in the house. ugh!

also, im kinda gettin sick of this template, so as soon as a find one i like this ones gone. thats all for now, much love

rele that depressed?

wow, i just read through my last 10 posts or so and i sound really depressed, dont i? i think so, and it makes me sad to kno that im worrying all these people with my problems, also scares me that im able to put that much on a simple internet diary. so from now on im only posting the day to day stuff, no depressing things or n e thing

but today was boring, nothing special, so im not gonna write bout it

hate it

gosh, i dont know, i wish it was as easy as just writing all my feelings down in a public journal that everyone can read, but its not. if things were as easy as taht then hell, id be as happy as a fucking clam. but no, lifes got to be much more complicated. i really dont want to tell anyone anythiing anymore, because all my problems are just so stupid to them. no one understands n e thing, no matter how much they say they do, i know that i must sound rele bad by sayin every thing that i do, but its just....... ugh i dunno. some times i just wonder what its really worth. i gotta hand it to all yall out there who have stuck by me through all this, i know taht ive been a bitch and rele untollerable, and i appreciate you tryin to help but i jus gotta work some stuff out on my own. well ya i guess i should go, love yall

lifes a blur

some days are good, some bad, it really all depends. i think im getting used to the being depressed thing, as bad as that sounds its true. today i went to the mall with merissa brittany and katlyn. i was pretty happy (if happys what you could consider taht) i think i might have said 50 words while we were there. im really quiet these days, much more than i normally am at least. i really dont want to have to feel this way, but im tryin to look on the bright side, its eventually gotta get better. the only time i really seem to forget about how hard things are is when im reading. i seem to be doing alot of that latly. i guess lifes jsut kinda become a blur for me, one thing after the next, not sure where one day stops and the next begins. im writin alot latly too. i think im gonna start a novel, no joke. not sure waht its gonn abe about though, my life maybe. i dunno, but i should go, much love

im fine

im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine, im fine.............. FUCK NO IM NOT!!! god i dont know, theres so much i want to say, but i cant. im just so sorry to all those people im hurting, its not ur fault really, i love you all

long time no post

well i know i havnt posted in a while, i guess theres just been so much goin on in that lil head of mine and i dont rele know how to put it into words. lifes kinda been an emotional roller coaster latly, u kno up one day, down the next. i dunno, lifes jus so confusing any more, not rele sure where to turn, i mean i know that people are there for me. its just so hard to open up to anyone any more, theres so many secrets that i have botteled up, it seems that if u let one out, then theyre all gonna start spilling out, and i dont want that to happen. o well, guess im just gonna have to deal with it till things brighten up (who knows how long that could be) humm, well im gonna stop typin before i say too much, ttfn

ps, tomorows valentines day, i HATE valentines day

tgif

ya so once agian its friday, another week gone by. last night merissa spent the night at mi casa, that was fun except i was up most of the night workin on my damn progect for language arts. today was well, just another friday, i was actually rele happy today tho, not something i have known in a while. we had color gaurd after school, and i hit myself in the head with my flag, that hurt pretty bad. other than that, nothin rele special happened, much love
~ariel~

I MISS BRIAN

ya sooo

ya well, today was another day, a better one tho. dont rele know what to say about it, but my moms kinda screamin at em to get off, the important thing tho, im doin better!

eh

ya, so i jus got bak from the counsoler. wow, was that fun. ya, she made me talk about my problems with my mom, NOT a friendly topic. took about every ounce i had in me not to break down into tears (something i seem to be doin often these days) but ya i kinda dont rele wanna post all that went on, so if u rele wanna know ask me. love much

whats wrong with me?

so lets see, sunday i pretty much stayed home and did homework all day, and then went to dinner with dad and then came home and slept

school is so overwhelming n e more, with all my homework, plus all the honors assignments and everything. im about to kill half my teachers. O MY GOODNESS, they have like no idea how to teach a class of eigth graders, grrrr

also about to kill the parentals, god i swear this divorce stuff is so annoying, all i ever hear any more, is "o ariel im so sorry you have to go through this, you know that its not ur fault" its like god damn i dont need ur pity. then all my parents ever say is how annoying the other is, its jus grrrrrrrrrrrr

my friends, well i guess theyre ok, been doubting some of my friendships tho, theres jus some stuff im finding out about certain people that makes me wonder if i can rele trust them. i dont think that theres a single group of people that talks more about eachother than my friends do, and i have to say, it worries me. makes me wonder "well if they say this kinda stuff about these people behind their backs, and then act like theyre best friends, what are they saying about me?" i jus dunno, everything seems so overwhelming. i barley get more that 3 hours of sleep each night, i dont talk much at school n e more, my grades are dropping, my parents disown me, and nothing seems right ne more........ WHATS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!?!

dangerously in love

well, hum went to joannas last night, and then went to home depot and babysat her nephew, then we went to the mall and met bryce, aaron, and BRIAN

YES, i got to c brian, i was so near verge of dieing this week, seeing him helped so much (yes, i am aware of how pathetic i sound sayin that, but o well, i dont give a damn) i kinda started cryin in the movies tho, which was kinda pathetic and all. i hate bein so depressed, makes me feel like im jus ruinin everyone elses lives too, humm, o well. bryce and aaron officially hate me, cuz i was such a bitch to them, but o well, nothin i can do bout that. ya well its back to bein depressed lil me, cuz theres nothin 2 b happy bout n e more, so ya i guess i should prolly go before i start to say more than i need to, lyl

fuck it

ya, so todays a friday, but it rele dont feel like it, had a breakdown in science today, ya that was, now mr gibb thinks im even more of a freak. i jus about burst into tears during algebra too, and i think i said maybe a total of 100 words today, which is relel scary, cuz i normally talk nonstop. everyone keeps askin me whats wrong, and i dont know, so ya i tell em im fine. then they bug me more bout it, wow fun stuff. im kinda startin to think that all my frnds hate me now, cuz i dont talk n e more, and im about as much fun to hang out with as a log, ugh.

makenzie told my dad that me and brian were goin out, and he was, lets jus say, SHOCKED. seeing as hes hated all my other bfs, i dont think this ones gonna b ne different, but o well, thats his problem, hes jus gonna have to deal with it, im not dumpin another bf to make him happy.

ya well i guess im done, cuz i relel dont feel like talkin so ya, bye

wuts the point of a title n e wayz?

well, wut 2 say.... today was well, jus another day. mornin was ok i guess, we had a spanish test 2nd, that kinda suked, and ummm, in language arts we kinda didnt do n e thing but research our peoson, umm, lets see, were doin this slope stuff in algebra that i totally hate, and dont understand at all. got me rele kinda depressed cuz i was jus kinda starin at a blank piece of paper, hum.....
ya well lets see, i was actually rele kinda down in the dumps all day. not quite sure y tho, but i guess it was rele obvious cuz people kept askin me wut was wrng, grr i hate when people do that, theyre like, o ya i can help i know what ur goin through, talk to me. and jezz i jus wanna be like, "you have no idea what im goin through so y dont you juz fuck off and go play peer counsoler 4 someone else!!!" i knoe im mean, but grrr people piss me off so much, grls especially. a few of my frnds are in a fight for the stupidist reason, and theyre normally rele close too, so its pissin me off to see them callin eachother bitches, grrrrr, lemme tell you, do not get on my nerves right now, cuz i will bite your head off, i am NOT happy, ugh and i get to go shopping later, hee hee, ugh i hate shopping, especially with my mother, she has to critizize everything i pick out, tellin me its too slutty or too tight, or the wrng color or what evr, and its not like i rele dress that slutty ne wayz do i? o well ya im kinda rele bitchy right now, so im gonna go b4 i blow the computer up, love much

PS I MISS BRIAN :'(

got it!

yes, i finally found a template i like fot this damn thing, which means you can expect a post from me everyday again cuz i wont b obsessing over finding a template

lets see, today was nothin special, jus another tuesday, were doin this biography progect in language arts tho and im actually kinda excited bout it, cuz i get to reasearch my idol, Miss Emily Dickenson, YES! i know im a dork, but rele that woman was a genious, i totally idolize her, lolz, and i must say it took much bribing to let my la teach let me reasearch her cuz she wasnt originally on our list of people to choose, but hey thats one advantage of bein a straight A student, you can get the teachers to do almost n e thing u want them to, hee hee. in science we watched this very disturbing video about the mating and feeding habits of lions and hienas cuz we ha da sub, and guess wut.... i actually fell asleep. i have never fallen asleep in class b4, but this movie was so boring and sickening that i figured screw it, and i took a 45 minute nap, till the sub came and hit my desk with a ruler, lolz

i miss brian ALOT, i know im so pathctic, but i can see what joanna meant about havin a bf that lives so far, i mean ive dated guys that have lived alot farther than brian does, but ive never rele liked n e of em, so it dont rele matter. but thats jus the thing, i like brian ALOT and that kinda scares me cuz im not ready to have my heart broken, and i know that im jus kinda pourin my heart out on to a keyboard here, but i rele hope that me and brian can actually make somehtin of this relationship, and that he rele loves me like he sayz he does, cuz guess wut, guys lie! well ya i guess thats it, much love

ummm......

ok, first off, sorry i havnt posted in a while, jus havnt rele had the time to, all my time is dedciated to tryin to find a template 4 this stupid thing.

today me and joanna (now oficially mosie) went to the mall, and guess wut, we met brian there! i felt rele sick for the first half of the day, but then me and jo went to a movie, and brian and scott came and i felt alot better. i think it was kinda weird for joanna and scott tho cuz they broke up and ya, but n e wayz.... GUESS WUT!!!!!! BRIAN ASKED ME OUT, whoo hoo (for all of you who dont know who brian is, hes the guy i talk bout in my past few blogs) that made me happy, but well i guess thats bout it that happened today, much love, ariel

happyness mixed wit a lil confusion~ the perfect recipe for heartache

so i went to the mall today, and met brian there, it was pretty fun, could have been better tho. lolz. umm then went home, got bitched at by my mom, and tried to fix my comp, then started doin the hw that i procrastinated

i must say, that is was cool to see brian, i jus wish a lil more would have happened between us, i mean i love him, and i dont want everytime i see him to be as "boring" if u kno what i mean, lolz i know im so bad, well ya n e way, im also rele afraid that im gonna get my heart broken but thats jus a chance im gonna have to take, well ttfn, love much

ps like my new template? i know i always change it, but hopefully ill find one i like sooner or lata

sorry

sorry i havnt been postin latly, lot been goin on, and i cant rele think of a way to put it into wrds, but ya, ill try to post more, love lots

in love?

here i go again, im off "falling in love" with another guy. see i told you, it happens every time, i say in through with em, then next thing you know it im head over heals for some guy. Except this time it might b different, im afraid to say that cuz i DO NOT want to get hurt again, but something in me is telling me that im a lil more than infatuated with this guy.

last night i was up till 5 40am talkin online with him, about who even know what, all i know is he made me smile, and me made me feel rele special, and no ones been able to do that to me in ovr a year, if not longer> somethin about talkin to him made all my worries go away, made life seem like it was worth livin after all, made me want to be held in his arms forever (corny but true) i know how stupid i prolly sound sayin this, but somethin in me said that i was in love with him. when i talk to him he makes me feel like i am the most beautiful thing in the world, like no one can possibly make me feel bad when ive got him there

im rele scared tho, because i am not ready to be hurt again, and im not sure how he feels, and i dont think he would intentionally hurt me, but mistakes happen, and i dont want them to. i have no idea how i feel its kinda a mix of love, and heartbreak, and depression and exreem happyness and I JUST DONT KNOW :'(

here i am, once again, bored as can be

aight, so lets seee, today me and moe went to da mall for about 5 hours, that was pretty fun, but my feet hurt like hell, also there were these two kids who were following us, and i promise you they were not 13 even tho thats how old they said they were. they were pretty hot , but they were kinda stalkin us, that was a lil freaky, then we went to c white noise (weird movie) with brittany her lil sis, and gannon. that was fun but that is one of the weirdest movies i have evr seen. i was gonna spend the night with moe, but her dad decided that he wanted to b an ass, so that didnt happen.

i was feelin a lil betta today, not quite as depressed, but im in dire want of a bf, i kno how pathetic that sounds, but its true. and i dont jus want some jackass who only wants to get into my pants either, i want someone who rele cares, but i know thats not gonna happen, im too picky, and way too pathetic

tomorow i have to go ovr to my aunts house, thatll b a waste of my sunday, also i just remembered i have a huge science progect due, so i betta go do that

p.s. write some stuff on my tagboard guys, PLZZZZ

long lost time

sry i havnt rele posted latly, ive been obsessing over finding a nice template to post up here, so lets see, whats new.....................

guys~ i have officially given up on guys, of course i say that and then a few days lata im goin out with another one, lolz. thats me! well n e wayz, jus seems like every guy i like ends up likin one of my frnds. this guy, well call him bob, is one of my frnds who goes to arvada middles exes, and seh treated him like shit, and now is tryin to get us to go out, and even tho i wouldnt mind goin out with him at all, cuz ive liked him 4 like evr, i honestlly dont think he likes me, then theres this other guy, well call him george has a mad crush on my frnd, and thats like all he talks about, and it hurts alot cuz i like him alot, :'( also he wouldnt go out with me if i was the last grl on earth, im pretty sure bout that 1

frnds~ umm, thats ok i guess, but all my frnds are grounded cuz of mid terms, so im kinda lonly for now

family~ nottin different than normal, parents are bitchin at me ovr every little thing, and im stuck between my mom and dads fights, thats fun

ahh, screw it, im makin it seem like everything is fine and dandy, but it rele isnt, everyday i feel worse, i want it to all go away, im not talkin suicide, just not wantin to b here right now. im sre somthing good is bound to come along eventually, but im not seein it right now, life just seems like a whole big mess, i thought this year was gonna b different, but so far its showin no sign of improvement, just more loss and more pain

still lookin

still lookin for a new template, when i find a cool one ill put it here

the sky is falling, as are my hopes

CAUTION: SEVERE COMPLAININ AHEAD


i hate this feeling, like nothin ever goes right for me. Sometimes i just want to crawl into a hole and die, it seems like no one rele loves me. all my teachers love my frnds, hate me, my parents expect me to be exactally like my perfect little frnds, and even the guyz i like always like my frnds

ive always been that grl with the rele hot frnd, or the grl whos frnds get rele good grades, what have you. all my frnds have kick ass boyfrnds who love them sooo much, plus millions of other guys who arent theyre bfs. the longest relation ship ive ever been in was with taylor, but we were like 8

also the guy i like now (and i mean i like this guy ALOT) likes one of my rele good frnds, and thats all he talks about, im about to just give up, its just not worth it n e more