eh

ya, so i jus got bak from the counsoler. wow, was that fun. ya, she made me talk about my problems with my mom, NOT a friendly topic. took about every ounce i had in me not to break down into tears (something i seem to be doin often these days) but ya i kinda dont rele wanna post all that went on, so if u rele wanna know ask me. love much

whats wrong with me?

so lets see, sunday i pretty much stayed home and did homework all day, and then went to dinner with dad and then came home and slept

school is so overwhelming n e more, with all my homework, plus all the honors assignments and everything. im about to kill half my teachers. O MY GOODNESS, they have like no idea how to teach a class of eigth graders, grrrr

also about to kill the parentals, god i swear this divorce stuff is so annoying, all i ever hear any more, is "o ariel im so sorry you have to go through this, you know that its not ur fault" its like god damn i dont need ur pity. then all my parents ever say is how annoying the other is, its jus grrrrrrrrrrrr

my friends, well i guess theyre ok, been doubting some of my friendships tho, theres jus some stuff im finding out about certain people that makes me wonder if i can rele trust them. i dont think that theres a single group of people that talks more about eachother than my friends do, and i have to say, it worries me. makes me wonder "well if they say this kinda stuff about these people behind their backs, and then act like theyre best friends, what are they saying about me?" i jus dunno, everything seems so overwhelming. i barley get more that 3 hours of sleep each night, i dont talk much at school n e more, my grades are dropping, my parents disown me, and nothing seems right ne more........ WHATS WRONG WITH ME?!?!?!?!

dangerously in love

well, hum went to joannas last night, and then went to home depot and babysat her nephew, then we went to the mall and met bryce, aaron, and BRIAN

YES, i got to c brian, i was so near verge of dieing this week, seeing him helped so much (yes, i am aware of how pathetic i sound sayin that, but o well, i dont give a damn) i kinda started cryin in the movies tho, which was kinda pathetic and all. i hate bein so depressed, makes me feel like im jus ruinin everyone elses lives too, humm, o well. bryce and aaron officially hate me, cuz i was such a bitch to them, but o well, nothin i can do bout that. ya well its back to bein depressed lil me, cuz theres nothin 2 b happy bout n e more, so ya i guess i should prolly go before i start to say more than i need to, lyl

fuck it

ya, so todays a friday, but it rele dont feel like it, had a breakdown in science today, ya that was, now mr gibb thinks im even more of a freak. i jus about burst into tears during algebra too, and i think i said maybe a total of 100 words today, which is relel scary, cuz i normally talk nonstop. everyone keeps askin me whats wrong, and i dont know, so ya i tell em im fine. then they bug me more bout it, wow fun stuff. im kinda startin to think that all my frnds hate me now, cuz i dont talk n e more, and im about as much fun to hang out with as a log, ugh.

makenzie told my dad that me and brian were goin out, and he was, lets jus say, SHOCKED. seeing as hes hated all my other bfs, i dont think this ones gonna b ne different, but o well, thats his problem, hes jus gonna have to deal with it, im not dumpin another bf to make him happy.

ya well i guess im done, cuz i relel dont feel like talkin so ya, bye

wuts the point of a title n e wayz?

well, wut 2 say.... today was well, jus another day. mornin was ok i guess, we had a spanish test 2nd, that kinda suked, and ummm, in language arts we kinda didnt do n e thing but research our peoson, umm, lets see, were doin this slope stuff in algebra that i totally hate, and dont understand at all. got me rele kinda depressed cuz i was jus kinda starin at a blank piece of paper, hum.....
ya well lets see, i was actually rele kinda down in the dumps all day. not quite sure y tho, but i guess it was rele obvious cuz people kept askin me wut was wrng, grr i hate when people do that, theyre like, o ya i can help i know what ur goin through, talk to me. and jezz i jus wanna be like, "you have no idea what im goin through so y dont you juz fuck off and go play peer counsoler 4 someone else!!!" i knoe im mean, but grrr people piss me off so much, grls especially. a few of my frnds are in a fight for the stupidist reason, and theyre normally rele close too, so its pissin me off to see them callin eachother bitches, grrrrr, lemme tell you, do not get on my nerves right now, cuz i will bite your head off, i am NOT happy, ugh and i get to go shopping later, hee hee, ugh i hate shopping, especially with my mother, she has to critizize everything i pick out, tellin me its too slutty or too tight, or the wrng color or what evr, and its not like i rele dress that slutty ne wayz do i? o well ya im kinda rele bitchy right now, so im gonna go b4 i blow the computer up, love much

PS I MISS BRIAN :'(

got it!

yes, i finally found a template i like fot this damn thing, which means you can expect a post from me everyday again cuz i wont b obsessing over finding a template

lets see, today was nothin special, jus another tuesday, were doin this biography progect in language arts tho and im actually kinda excited bout it, cuz i get to reasearch my idol, Miss Emily Dickenson, YES! i know im a dork, but rele that woman was a genious, i totally idolize her, lolz, and i must say it took much bribing to let my la teach let me reasearch her cuz she wasnt originally on our list of people to choose, but hey thats one advantage of bein a straight A student, you can get the teachers to do almost n e thing u want them to, hee hee. in science we watched this very disturbing video about the mating and feeding habits of lions and hienas cuz we ha da sub, and guess wut.... i actually fell asleep. i have never fallen asleep in class b4, but this movie was so boring and sickening that i figured screw it, and i took a 45 minute nap, till the sub came and hit my desk with a ruler, lolz

i miss brian ALOT, i know im so pathctic, but i can see what joanna meant about havin a bf that lives so far, i mean ive dated guys that have lived alot farther than brian does, but ive never rele liked n e of em, so it dont rele matter. but thats jus the thing, i like brian ALOT and that kinda scares me cuz im not ready to have my heart broken, and i know that im jus kinda pourin my heart out on to a keyboard here, but i rele hope that me and brian can actually make somehtin of this relationship, and that he rele loves me like he sayz he does, cuz guess wut, guys lie! well ya i guess thats it, much love

ummm......

ok, first off, sorry i havnt posted in a while, jus havnt rele had the time to, all my time is dedciated to tryin to find a template 4 this stupid thing.

today me and joanna (now oficially mosie) went to the mall, and guess wut, we met brian there! i felt rele sick for the first half of the day, but then me and jo went to a movie, and brian and scott came and i felt alot better. i think it was kinda weird for joanna and scott tho cuz they broke up and ya, but n e wayz.... GUESS WUT!!!!!! BRIAN ASKED ME OUT, whoo hoo (for all of you who dont know who brian is, hes the guy i talk bout in my past few blogs) that made me happy, but well i guess thats bout it that happened today, much love, ariel

happyness mixed wit a lil confusion~ the perfect recipe for heartache

so i went to the mall today, and met brian there, it was pretty fun, could have been better tho. lolz. umm then went home, got bitched at by my mom, and tried to fix my comp, then started doin the hw that i procrastinated

i must say, that is was cool to see brian, i jus wish a lil more would have happened between us, i mean i love him, and i dont want everytime i see him to be as "boring" if u kno what i mean, lolz i know im so bad, well ya n e way, im also rele afraid that im gonna get my heart broken but thats jus a chance im gonna have to take, well ttfn, love much

ps like my new template? i know i always change it, but hopefully ill find one i like sooner or lata

sorry

sorry i havnt been postin latly, lot been goin on, and i cant rele think of a way to put it into wrds, but ya, ill try to post more, love lots

in love?

here i go again, im off "falling in love" with another guy. see i told you, it happens every time, i say in through with em, then next thing you know it im head over heals for some guy. Except this time it might b different, im afraid to say that cuz i DO NOT want to get hurt again, but something in me is telling me that im a lil more than infatuated with this guy.

last night i was up till 5 40am talkin online with him, about who even know what, all i know is he made me smile, and me made me feel rele special, and no ones been able to do that to me in ovr a year, if not longer> somethin about talkin to him made all my worries go away, made life seem like it was worth livin after all, made me want to be held in his arms forever (corny but true) i know how stupid i prolly sound sayin this, but somethin in me said that i was in love with him. when i talk to him he makes me feel like i am the most beautiful thing in the world, like no one can possibly make me feel bad when ive got him there

im rele scared tho, because i am not ready to be hurt again, and im not sure how he feels, and i dont think he would intentionally hurt me, but mistakes happen, and i dont want them to. i have no idea how i feel its kinda a mix of love, and heartbreak, and depression and exreem happyness and I JUST DONT KNOW :'(

here i am, once again, bored as can be

aight, so lets seee, today me and moe went to da mall for about 5 hours, that was pretty fun, but my feet hurt like hell, also there were these two kids who were following us, and i promise you they were not 13 even tho thats how old they said they were. they were pretty hot , but they were kinda stalkin us, that was a lil freaky, then we went to c white noise (weird movie) with brittany her lil sis, and gannon. that was fun but that is one of the weirdest movies i have evr seen. i was gonna spend the night with moe, but her dad decided that he wanted to b an ass, so that didnt happen.

i was feelin a lil betta today, not quite as depressed, but im in dire want of a bf, i kno how pathetic that sounds, but its true. and i dont jus want some jackass who only wants to get into my pants either, i want someone who rele cares, but i know thats not gonna happen, im too picky, and way too pathetic

tomorow i have to go ovr to my aunts house, thatll b a waste of my sunday, also i just remembered i have a huge science progect due, so i betta go do that

p.s. write some stuff on my tagboard guys, PLZZZZ

long lost time

sry i havnt rele posted latly, ive been obsessing over finding a nice template to post up here, so lets see, whats new.....................

guys~ i have officially given up on guys, of course i say that and then a few days lata im goin out with another one, lolz. thats me! well n e wayz, jus seems like every guy i like ends up likin one of my frnds. this guy, well call him bob, is one of my frnds who goes to arvada middles exes, and seh treated him like shit, and now is tryin to get us to go out, and even tho i wouldnt mind goin out with him at all, cuz ive liked him 4 like evr, i honestlly dont think he likes me, then theres this other guy, well call him george has a mad crush on my frnd, and thats like all he talks about, and it hurts alot cuz i like him alot, :'( also he wouldnt go out with me if i was the last grl on earth, im pretty sure bout that 1

frnds~ umm, thats ok i guess, but all my frnds are grounded cuz of mid terms, so im kinda lonly for now

family~ nottin different than normal, parents are bitchin at me ovr every little thing, and im stuck between my mom and dads fights, thats fun

ahh, screw it, im makin it seem like everything is fine and dandy, but it rele isnt, everyday i feel worse, i want it to all go away, im not talkin suicide, just not wantin to b here right now. im sre somthing good is bound to come along eventually, but im not seein it right now, life just seems like a whole big mess, i thought this year was gonna b different, but so far its showin no sign of improvement, just more loss and more pain

still lookin

still lookin for a new template, when i find a cool one ill put it here

the sky is falling, as are my hopes

CAUTION: SEVERE COMPLAININ AHEAD


i hate this feeling, like nothin ever goes right for me. Sometimes i just want to crawl into a hole and die, it seems like no one rele loves me. all my teachers love my frnds, hate me, my parents expect me to be exactally like my perfect little frnds, and even the guyz i like always like my frnds

ive always been that grl with the rele hot frnd, or the grl whos frnds get rele good grades, what have you. all my frnds have kick ass boyfrnds who love them sooo much, plus millions of other guys who arent theyre bfs. the longest relation ship ive ever been in was with taylor, but we were like 8

also the guy i like now (and i mean i like this guy ALOT) likes one of my rele good frnds, and thats all he talks about, im about to just give up, its just not worth it n e more