this is the time of year, when it all starts to come back to me, december is never a good month for me, it was the month taylor left, the month maria died, and the month i always dread. I found out a friends dad died this morning, and i know how she must feel, maria was like a grand mother to me, no, more like a best friend, then she was diagnosed with kidney cancer, the doctor told her she had three months to live. Soon after the diagnosis she moved back to boise with her son. 5 months later she was restricted to her bed, it took all her energy just to pick up the phone and call us, just to talk for a few minutes. I could tell in her voice, she was going to die any day now, and i just wasnt ready for it. On december 29 we got a phone call from alex, her som, telling us that she passed away in her sleep last night, and the first thing she saw before she fell asleep was my picture.
That was almost a year ago, and i miss her more than ever, this will be my first xmas without her, and its hard, i just pray that shes happy, wherever she is> she guides me through my everyday activities, is the source of all my decisions. i know how upset she would be to know that my parents are seperating. ill miss you forever and always
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in all the time i've known you u never let me know how December is so hard for u. Why wouldn't u. Or do u not trust me enough to let me know or else is it just 2 hard. wat ever the reason I understand that this is a hard month and i'll be sensitive 2 that.
Britt
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