I'm unsure how to express the way ive been feeling the past couple days. Recently, my girlfriend and i just broke up, which hurt really badly. I knew that things hadn't been going so hot, that we were bound to fall soon, and after six months, i knew things werent as strong as they could be, it just twisted the knife to hear her tell me she wasnt in love with me anymore. Of course, i had no choice but to accept it, and i was willing to move on.... well sorta. What really hurts though, is i can hardly bear to talk to her, i just feel like everytime i speak to her my heart gets ripped out. She's become fairly close to my best friend, and though i liek to believe it wont happen, i cant imagine how it would feel if they ended up together. It hurts when theyre always texting eachother, and while i know im more important to my friend than my ex is, it still kinda like ow.
On top of that, November has just been shit, ive been sick on and off, really emotionally unstable, and just stressed stressed stressed. I cant even begin to say how much i needed this break were on now, just not being at school is so nice. Im ready for a fresh start, im trying to be positive and look on the bright side, but lets face it, november doesnt belong on the calendar.
Im trying to look at this single thing positivly, now i can go and do my own thing, be free, it gives me a chance to form crushes and to just get back into life, but i also miss everything that comes with a relationship. Im hoping that maybe ill be able to find someone to distract me, even just a little crush to help get her out of my head, but i dont know if shell leave. It kills me to know that time is all thats gonna cure the way i feel. And it sucks
Musical auditions are coming up. Wishes of luck to ariel
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